Mmouse Enterprises HQ1
Press Center – Memphis, Tennessee
July 9th, 2020 – 4:00am
*Press, tired and groggy, chat amongst each other, wondering why they have been summoned to Mickey’s Corporate Headquarters when Executioner appears and approaches the podium*
Executioner: Thank you, everyone, for joining me at this late…or early…hour. I know you all only had about an hour’s notice, but the matter is urgent and we appreciate you being here. A day ago, the world of professional wrestling was abuzz about the special board meeting called at the Chairman’s Headquarters. There has been plenty of accusations going around that Mickey is losing touch, that he is trying to keep the company from growing, and even calls for his resignation. You will soon see that none of that is true or necessary to say. Mickey has full control of his mental faculties, and if you don’t believe me, ask him yourself.
*Mickey catches everyone off guard by walking into the room, looking perfectly fine, he excuses Executioner, thanks him, and takes the podium*
Mickey (MM): As you can see, I am alive and well, and certainly not crazy. I asked Executioner to call for your immediate presence because we are about to witness history in the making. What none of you are aware of is the fact that I have also called for a new special board meeting and the best part is that ALL OF YOU ARE INVITED TO COME IN. So, let’s cut to the chase. Follow me into the Board Room where everyone is ready to hear what I have to say!
*Reporters are stunned, but they follow the Co-Vice Chairman out of the Press Center, down the hall, and into the Board Room*
MM (entering the room, where each member of the Board and the other Company Executives are left stunned both by Mickey’s presence and the audience he has brought with him): Hello comrades!! Long time, no see!! I know you all missed me and were expecting Executioner, but I felt he deserved the night off after all of his hard work. Wouldn’t you agree?!
*The room was still stunned by what was going on*
MM: Okay, okay, don’t everyone jump at me all at the same time. I promise, I am doing just fine, and I have been tested for Covid, as have all of you. I know, because, I demanded that security test EVERYONE entering my building before they came anywhere near me. *Mickey takes a somewhat long pause*
Catherine (CM): Dad…
MM: SO!! On to the business of the day! I know everyone is worried about perception and whether Benny will have us all by the balls…well, all of us except Catherine here. You know what I mean?! HA HA HA! *Mickey says this while jabbing at Murrey with his elbow* Ah, geez. Everyone has to be such a stick in the mud. Come on, lighten up, we’re going to make freaking history!!
Jeff Murrey (JM): Look, Mickey, we haven’t seen or heard from you since Motivation, it is four in the damn morning, and you call this meeting, what the hell are you on?
MM: LANGUAGE! There are ladies present, Chairman Murrey! Know your audience, bro!
JM: Oh my god…
MM: You rang? HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! *Everyone looks freaked out* GET IT?!! BECAUSE EVERYONE THINKS THAT I THINK I’M GOD?!! LIKE I’M FREAKING CRAAAAAAAZY?!! I kid, but no, seriously, I needed you all here because I have been doing some serious thinking about that other unfortunate special meeting, and I think we all got off on the wrong foot.
Harry Puddphucker (HP): So, what are you saying?
MM: WAIT A FUCKING SECOND AND I WILL TELL YOU!!!!! *Mickey takes another extended pause, followed by a breathing exercise* What I meant to say was…just hold on, because I am getting to that, Mr. Puddphucker.
*The whole falls silent, and the press leans in*
MM: Look, I want what you all want. Hard to believe, I know, but it’s true. I just had to do this the right way. After things fell apart at the recent Board Meeting, I took some time to reflect on my granddaughter, you know, the little lady who has…*speaking under his breath* been brainwashed into thinking that I am some kind of fucking monster…
HP: Excuse me?
MM: *Regular tone* That little girl represents so much about our future! Not just for this company and this business, but for this family, and NOTHING means more to me than doing right by the family.
CM: *scoffs*
MM: WATCH YOUR TONE, BITCH!!
*Room gasps*
MM: *Takes a deep breath, holds both hands up in the air for a second as he gets up, walks to a corner, and seemingly takes a pill somewhat discreetly before sitting back down* The legacy of this family means everything to me, and I must do right by it. That’s the primary reason that I called for this get together, er…meeting.
JM: What are you proposing, Mickey?
MM: A compromise, Jeff. A compromise. You see, the rules mean a great deal to me, and I want to abide by the rules. I strongly oppose making special exceptions for anyone. I take great offense to the claims that I don’t care for women’s wrestling. Most people in this room right now were there when I became the first promoter in the history of the industry to introduce a women’s division, and despite what some have tried to assert in their rewriting of history, the women’s division was definitely taken seriously.
I believe in my heart that we have to demonstrate why we are the best in this industry today, and of all time. That’s why I have reached a conclusion.
CM: You have my attention. Let’s hear it.
MM: I will oppose any effort to change our by-laws, but I will entertain a series of shows which exclusively showcases the talents of each division.
JM: What’s the catch?
HP: Yes, do tell.
MM: No real catch, ladies and gentleman, just a twist. You see, right now Benny is hoping to get a head start on us with what he calls Season “2A”, which is meant to preempt us by about a month and a half. He has planned this because he knows that our Fourth Season doesn’t begin until September 20th with our “Clash of the Destined” Pay Per View. I rather enjoyed the concept conceived by Catherine during the Fifth Era wherein the stars of PWI had an off season, and I feel it is best to enjoy that during the hottest months of the year.
CM: I appreciate that compliment, Dad, but what does this have to do with the issue of having an all-women’s card?
MM: Everything, Catherine. While we have certainly had our disagreements over the past year, I have always maintained a great deal of respect for your determination to achieve your goals. This issue was no different. So, here’s my compromise, I will offer up a proposal to host an annual series of all-women’s shows provided that it is balanced out with an equal number of all-men’s shows.
JM: That’s great, but when on the calendar do you propose we hold these cards?
MM: There’s the twist, my compatriots. It won’t take place during Season Four, but rather during a preseason which begins in August and ends a few weeks before the Season Premiere.
HP: Interesting. How long should this preseason be?
MM: Six weeks, Harry.
CM: What day of the week?
MM: *Leans in* Monday.
JM: A preseason? What should we call this series of events?
MM: I thought a little about this, guys, and I think it made the most sense to pay homage to Catherine here. The preseason shows can simply revive the Fifth Era shows called “PWI Live”.
CM: I’m truly flattered. What else can you tell us about the schedule, the structure, whose in charge?
MM: Well, I envision each show being four segments, debuting on Monday, August 3rd…
CM: Wait…you want it to debut on the same night that EWA debuts their new season?
MM: *Winks*
JM: Not going to lie…I like it.
MM: Damn right, you do! The best part about all of this is that it should be ran by none other than Jackie…with Harry’s help, of course.
HP: We can make that work. Which should start? The all-men or all-women shows?
MM: I believe it should start with the women, and then be followed by the men the next week, and then go back and forth in that pattern until the preseason ends. Additionally, since it is a preseason, nothing that happens in it will impact rankings or championship opportunities at all. It is just a chance for our talent to warm up and for the audience to enjoy our product a little bit more. What do you think?
*Room nods with approval*
MM: Great!! So, I have the entire proposal here in writing *hands the paper copy to every Board member, giving the master copy to the Board President* and I formally offer a motion to adopt.
President Knuckles (PK): You have seen and heard the proposal, and heard a formal motion to adopt, do we have a second?
CM: Second…
MM: Excellent! Thank you, Cather…
CM: Just don’t make me regret this.
MM: The only one who will come to regret this proposal is my greatest enemy, and you are not my greatest enemy.
CM: Good.
PK: A motion has been made and a second to that motion has been offered, do we have any further discussion? *Everyone sits silently* Hearing none, we will now offer a chance for a voice vote. All those in favor of adopting this proposal say “Aye”? *The vote was unanimous for the proposal*, and it doesn’t seem like it is necessary to ask for the nays, because everyone just said “Aye”. It is the opinion of the chair that the ayes are unanimous, therefore the motion is adopted. Seeing that this was the sole piece of business on the table in this special meeting we now stand adjourned.
*Mickey claps loudly and lets out a cheer as Board Members and the Executives start to leave* ESPN: Excuse me, Mickey, may we ask questions?
MM: I see no reason why not. You have just witnessed history, my boy. Ask away.
ESPN: Isn’t it going to seem a little odd how this all went down?
MM: I think the show of unity is a welcome breath of fresh air that even our company’s imposter 10% investor will appreciate. Everyone wins here.
HBO Sports: Are you taking medication for these outbursts?
*Executioner steps in*: He does not have to answer…
MM: No, no, I will answer it. I have to take a number of medications. I am not a young man anymore, but I assure you all that I am fine. Perfectly fine. It was a good day today.
CBS Sports: Can you tell us the whereabouts of the Crock?
MM: *dead stares at the reporter* He’s on vacation.
Sports Illustrated: What about Scott Nash, anything you can say to shed light on the matter?
MM: Look, Mr. Nash is one of our most important long-standing employees with this company. He has been a locker room leader, someone I once called a “Pillar” behind the scenes. That’s the significance of Mr. Nash. Don’t listen to the insane ramblings of the Crock, who has always had a grudge against me ever since I buried his father back in the early days of the USWA.
Executioner: Everyone, we really have no time for more questions. Thank you for coming.
NBC Sports: Can we ask the other executives a few questions?
Executioner: I said that we have no more time for questions. Find another opportunity to ask them, but not here at Mickey’s Headquarters. It’s time to leave.
*Security, as directed by the Executioner, then forcefully guided the press out of the building as the Board members and other Executives were guided out through a separate exit to their modes of transport*