Mmouse Enterprises Chairman’s Centre
Knoxville, Tennessee
July 27, 2020
7:00pm
(JM = Jeff Murrey)
*Chairman Murrey approaches the podium*
JM: Welcome members of the press to this, the final press conference before the launch of PWI’s preseason. A week from tonight we will see the return of “PWI Live” with Mmouse Enterprises’s first ever all-women’s broadcast. It will compete against what is likely to be the highest rated EWA broadcast since their “Retro” special. Still, we at Mmouse Enterprises are excited for the preseason to come and the official launch of the Fourth Season at “Clash of the Destined” on September 20th.
The Board met this past weekend and decided that there should be one final change to the preseason: there will be no consequences for any of the PWI talent. That’s right, for the duration of the preseason everyone is effectively immune! Of course, order will be restored as of the Season Premiere, but until then it is as if the talent is stepping in through the entrance way in a USWA show!
A year ago today, Mickey held a brief press conference to gloat about his forcing his way back into the picture after ending his presidential campaign, purging the corporate headquarters of those disloyal to him, and splitting the roster in half. We’ve come a long way since that moment. Now, as Mickey continues to receive the help he needs, we move forward into a brighter future for the company!
Now, if you have any questions, I will happily entertain them.
ESPN: With the suspension of consequences for the preseason, does that mean the rules on intergender interaction are also lifted?
JM: Intergender wrestling is still banned from this company.
ESPN: But you didn’t ans…
JM: Next question…
Sports Illustrated: You made it a point to mention that Corporate expects to be up against a strong EWA broadcast, does this mean you expect to lose?
JM: We are taking a step back in time, folks. This is not about ratings for us. This is about giving the fans of PWI and professional wrestling what they want: great entertainment. We expect EWA to have a spectacular showing, and we expect PWI’s fans to have fun watching. Back in 1997, Mickey and the Board – according to the minutes – never once worried about ratings. They only concerned themselves with putting on a great show. The Board this past weekend agreed that we needed a “back to basics” approach to this season and beyond.
Fox Sports: Is it weird working with a Board which used to be in opposition to you?
JM: It was a long time ago, like back in 2004. I’ve worked with these people off and on for the best part of the last 16 years, though. It was a little odd reviewing old minutes from back in the Second Era this past weekend. I will admit that there is a reason why much of the Board’s members remain loyal to Mickey. The late-1990s were when he made this company a revolutionary force in the industry. That is not easily forgotten.
CBS Sports: So, does this mean that the preseason is largely about nostalgia, then?
JM: Nostalgia played a role, for sure. However, it is also about the future. We are looking to keep perfecting this company with each passing week and season.
Pro Wrestling Illustrated: Any word on that prank from earlier this month?
JM: Yes, and the authorities were called on Friday to deal with the suspected culprit. No, we are not disclosing their identity just yet.
Pro Wrestling Illustrated: Was it anyone we’d know?
JM: You guys are getting really desperate with the unauthorized follow-ups…
Pro Wrestling Illustrated: Well?
JM: I will say that it was a disgruntled former wrestler, but that is all I am saying.
NBC News: How about the issue with Miss Bliss?
JM: The Board and I concluded last night that there was nothing we can do about this crisis. Bliss found a series of loopholes and exploited each one and none of those loopholes will be easily fixed, not without unanimous consent from the Board.
HBO Sports: Did the Board get a chance to meet Mickey’s new proxy?
JM: No, and we were curious as to why. The Board President, Howard Knuckles, is still sworn to secrecy on the identity of this person, but they have reportedly promised to make an appearance by the end of August. With that, ladies and gentleman, I am out of time. Look forward to seeing you in a week at PWI Live!!! *Leaves*