Mmouse Enterprises Chairman’s Centre
Knoxville, Tennessee
July 20, 2020
10:30pm
(JM = Jeff Murrey)
*Chairman Murrey approaches the podium*
JM: Welcome, members of the press, thank you for coming back and I apologize for the abrupt ending to last week’s press conference. It was apparent that we received a false report of an incoming riot which we had feared was endangering this facility. The goal was to evacuate to prevent any danger to anyone here. It turned out that this was a prank of sorts and we are currently investigating to find out the source of the prank so that we may report it to the proper authorities.
Back to our regular business, we have made some more now-permanent changes to the preseason, and this will apply to all preseasons moving forward. After consulting all members of the Board and all authorized Executives thereof, we have finalized our decisions and have concluded that the following will be true of every preseason, and I invite you to look at the website by the end of the night to see how these will be permanently reflected on our Rules Page; tiers will be irrelevant in competition, so anyone can face anyone, rankings will be affected, the card for each episode of PWI Live will be a complete surprise to the audience, and not only will championships be able to be defended, but every championship match during the preseason will be an OPEN CHALLENGE.
I can also report to everyone here that Co-Vice Chairman Mickey has revealed that he has a surrogate with actual executive experience and that this person plans to make an appearance during the preseason. The President of the Board received the resume of the surrogate and while the name was withheld it was apparently notarized by a highly respected lawyer in the Memphis area to confirm that this isn’t some scheme by Mickey to skirt the system. Therefore, Mickey has successfully checked another box, and we have been alerted that this surrogate will be joining the Board in a closed door meeting the weekend before the first installment of PWI Live on August 3rd.
Now, on to your questions.
ESPN: Do you have any suspicions as to who made the false report?
JM: I sure do, but in the interest of civility and giving certain people the benefit of the doubt, I will hold my tongue on that one.
Fox Sports: The last time we had a chance to respond to concerns of the other 10% shareholder…
JM: Benny…
Fox Sports: …yes, it didn’t go unnoticed that you made sure not to address all of the concerns of Mr. Benny Mouse. Why is that?
JM: I wasn’t born yesterday. I know that Benny is used to baiting Mickey and sometimes even Catherine into doing a back and forth with him. His goal is to disrupt and to divert our attention from our one goal: being the best in the industry. Benny has every right to brag about the performance of his handful of shows that he put on during the first season of this era, but I assure you of one thing: it is about to get a lot harder for Benny to walk away the victor.
CBS Sports: One of the things the BWM Inc. Chairman has accused you of is making excuses for the PWI’s losses, is there not some truth to that?
JM: I am not making excuses. I simply state things the way they are. It is very easy to put on blockbuster shows when your company doesn’t hold itself to a standard of hosting reliable entertainment. The fewer shows you put on the more opportunities you have for major surprises on each of those handful of shows. This includes big debuts, guest appearances, and huge title changes. I will admit that there were at least a handful of times when the PWI should have done better or even defeated EWA, but we have been operating on different planes.
CBS Sports: …sounds like more excuses…
JM: Say what you want, but that is just the truth. I can’t say that the EWA’s shows haven’t been better each time, because that would not be the truth in at least half of the times our shows have competed. Even so, and I want to get away from talking about the EWA, if I may, I am confident that the magic of EWA’s erratic trance on the audience is starting to wear off. Eventually, you have to have consistent schedules, with complete pictures painted over a period of time, and with cohesive stories. PWI will absolutely prove itself to be the superior product in this next season, and we will flex that muscle in a big way in the six weeks of our preseason. Mark my words.
Sports Illustrated: You mentioned some additional changes to the preseason alongside reiterating some changes that were mentioned at an earlier time. Is this not an invitation to chaos?
JM: That’s the point. The preseason is all about shaking everything up. We wanted to make this as unpredictable as possible, in a great way. No one in the PWI should get comfortable where they are, because we could start the Fourth Season with a completely different picture in the rankings than what we entered the preseason with. Hell, we could have all new champions.
Pro Wrestling Illustrated: Speaking of the Fourth Season, what is the slate for the opening day of that season at “Clash of the Destined”?
JM: That card will be revealed with our next and final press conference before the preseason, which will be held next week. Stay tuned. Everyone, I wish I could stay for more, but I have to get going. A lot of work to do before we launch in just a couple weeks! *Leaves*