Mmouse Enterprises HQ2
Nashville, Tenn.
September 18, 2019
(CM: Catherine Mouse)
*Catherine approaches the podium*
CM: Thank you members of the press for arriving on such short notice. I have called you all here for a special announcement. As of noon today, we have finalized a contract deal for one of our three remaining shadow draftees. This draftee, Sarah Logan, is significant because her official acquisition brings the available, active women’s roster to 40, which means that the women will now be able to qualify for the internal draft in late January. I have been tirelessly working to make sure of this so that the hard working women in PWI will not be forced to work harder than the men by having to compete twice as often. Additionally, to piggyback on the tournament unveiled by my father a few weeks ago, I want to reveal that the women will partake in their own “Premier Athlete Tournament Roulette” starting at a time to be determined. Now, for your brief questions.
NBC Sports: What did it finally take in order to secure the deal with Miss Logan?
CM: She was a tough cookie to crack, I can say that. She is used to wrestling in the Nordic wrestling territory and wanted a hefty contract to abandon such. An annual contract to the tune of $2.5 million is ultimately what convinced her to sign.
CBS Sports: What about the two remaining shadow draft holdouts, Aleister Black and Zelina Vega?
CM: The Board really wants Aleister to sign the dotted line, but he comes from the Netherlands, and like Miss Logan, he wants a major contract deal. In fact, his current asking price is far higher than anyone else we’ve signed, and the Board is not presently comfortable caving to such. As for Zelina, she is holding out partially for personal reasons, none of which I am at liberty to discuss right now.
ESPN: The news has been steadily coming out of Mmouse Enterprises this month, but BWM Inc. has been relatively silent, care to comment on why?
CM: I will let my Uncle explain the silence from Stamford, because I don’t speak for him. Nor do I intend to break my pledge to avoid the unnecessary drama.
Sports Illustrated: Are there any setbacks to having such a large women’s division?
CM: Look, the PWI Women’s Division is now the largest, most professionally stacked, and most diverse in wrestling history. With that comes the potential for clashing egos and missed opportunities. Of course there are setbacks, but we intend – as I have stated in the past – to utilize this amazing talent as thoroughly as possible. Each star will get a chance to shine. I assure you.
Pro Wrestling Illustrated: Exactly how much is Aleister asking per year?
CM: About 13 million per year. He is an amazing talent, but the Board is not willing to pay anyone that amount. Well, everyone, I really must be going. Thank you for your time!
*Leaves*