Mmouse Enterprises HQ2
Nashville, Tennessee
September 3rd, 2019
[CM: Catherine Mouse]
*Catherine enters the room and approaches the podium*
CM: Good morning members of the press and staff of the PWI HQ2. I know it has been a short while since you all heard from me, and many were hoping I would immediately respond to my father’s comments a couple of weeks ago. There is a lot to address today and I want to be as thorough as possible in tackling everything that is on your minds and which the wrestling fan base wants to learn about. My uncle and my father are in a pissing contest of sorts and I will have no part in it. My emphasis is on the fans and on our amazing talent.
Having said that, I have heard my uncle’s apparent attempts to extend an olive branch to me. While my every instinct in what I know about my family teaches me to be cautious about accepting his efforts for peace, I will at least respond by saying simply to Uncle Benjamin that I have heard him and that I will stand down from any further attacks on him or his company. Even so, it should be known that I will not sit idly by and watch my company be belittled or sabotaged by anyone. If Benny – or my father for that matter – comes after me or my staff I will respond in kind.
Furthermore, if my uncle is sincere in his attempts at peace he will sell his 10% in Mmouse Enterprises stocks, not to my clever father, but back to the public. It is simply not good for business for such a small slice of this company’s profits to be enjoyed by the public. When Benny purchased his 10%, he took it from the people, not from the Board. The Board only holds 14% and the people used to own 14%, but now they only have access to 4% of our shares. Instead of meddling with the business of my company, Benny should stick to his own affairs and return to the people what belongs to them.
As for my father, I know how clever he thinks he is. First, he wants to manipulate me into thinking that Benny is out to get me while he – my father – demonizes me, hints at blaming me for the mold in the old headquarters, suggesting that I was not up to the task of leading the most powerful wrestling promotion in the industry’s history, and hijacking control of this company out of that same doubt. I know he wants to steal this moment from me, but he fails to realize that it is not about me. It is about the fans and the immensely talented performers in our locker room and the amazing staff doing the work behind the scenes. I’m fighting for them, not for me. That is the primary difference between Mickey and I.
Finally, I want to announce some exciting developments in the PWI. As my father mentioned in a press release, our website is now updated with a new, and better, look. Our roster is updated, and we have also some new contract signings. We have commissioned three new officials – Brutus White, the “Road Dogg” Jesse James, and Johnny Stamboli -, with Earl Hebner serving as the Senior Official. We will be looking at adding a handful more in the weeks to come. As for the new talent, we have signed two exciting female superstars: a girl who calls herself the Mockingbird and her tag team partner, Sharon Carter. If you are keeping track, that brings our total confirmed women’s roster to 34, with Zelina Vega, Peyton Royce, Billie Kay, and Sarah Logan still negotiating their contracts from the Shadow Draft to bring us up to 38.
I am also announcing here that we can confirm that the PWI will launch “Ascendants” starting in February to promote PWI’s up and coming superstars. Our company will also be reinitiating the Tier Mobilization rule that we experimented with back in 2013. This rule will go into effect starting in March. Finally, before I get to your questions, I am officially announcing that PWI will have four Pay Per Views; one for each season. With a two week break following each PPV except for Motivation. The names of these Pay Per Views are as follows: for the Autumn Equinox Season Premiere, “Clash of the Destined”, for the Winter Solstice, “The Rising” – which we were previously calling “Legends Rising” -, for the Spring Equinox, “Fate’s Resurrection”, and finally our Season Finale on the Summer Solstice will be “Motivation”.
Now, I will take some of your questions.
NBC Sports: Madame Vice Chair, I’m just going to get this question out of the way. Are you aware of whomever it was spreading rumors from your company about an earlier start?
CM: No, but I personally have my suspicions.
NBC Sports: Who do you suspect?
CM: My suspicions are not worthy of a dramatic headline. I will only say this: the PWI fully intends – whether everyone with shares agrees or not – to abide by the recent WOW Board ruling that neither promotion should start before December 1st. Talks of a premature start are ill-informed and even malicious.
Sports Illustrated: With the number of women on your roster getting ever so close to the magic 40, are you confident you will have the numbers you need for an internal draft?
CM: Yes, and I never doubted it for a second. Actually, this allows me to bring up one thing. Since my uncle made it a point to mock the emphasis on the quantity of women stars on this roster, I want to address that criticism. I personally wanted a large women’s roster even before the Board decided to set the bar at a minimum of 40 for a draft. I wanted a large women’s roster before there was any sign of a brand split. For decades we have always looked at the amount of male competitors in our ranks while disregarding the pitifully small pool of women available to compete. Having a large women’s roster gives the women of this company a chance to rest and let someone else shine for a moment. The days of having only a dozen women to showcase are over. Our time has come.
Pro Wrestling Illustrated: There were some rumors that the Board had pondered letting the Immunity Championship return as an actual title. Was there some doubt about making it an award which can’t be defended, or were there other considerations?
CM: Well, well, it’s the OTHER PWI. Just kidding, I’ve always enjoyed your magazines. Anyways, I’m familiar with the chatter about the Immunity Award. Some on the Board – namely my father – wanted to make the award defendable like a championship. In fact, he was hell bent on reverting it back to the old rules. However, while I enjoyed the Immunity Championship it served as a distraction of sorts and we even went months without booking it to be defended back in 2008 as we dropped the ball with Kevin Nash’s reign. In this return of the PWI, we want every championship to matter and we want as few championships as possible. So, each division has two options: the “world” championship and “tag” championships. We will keep it that way, but there is still some talk about slightly modifying some aspects of the Immunity Award. I invite all to stay tuned for more developments on that.
HBO Sports: Any comment about why Road Dogg and Stamboli were demoted to be officials?
CM: Honestly, that is a shameful question. It is not a demotion to become a referee in any company. Road Dogg and Stamboli are both great veterans of this industry and they were both looking for an alternative role within the company, citing some health issues which could have hindered their in-ring performance. Their wealth of knowledge of the rules lead the Board to agree that they should become referees in light of Ted Van Dam and Nick Patrick retiring in 2014 and Maxx McMahon retiring in 2010. We are proud to have them on the team. Our brand new official, Brutus White, is actually a second cousin of Mark Henry and we are proud to have him join as well.
ESPN: How are the company’s investment plans coming along?
CM: Quite well, actually. Truth be told, I informed the Board two weeks ago of my intent to spend an additional $100 Million of my own money on making many of the investments that I believe we should make. I wanted to avoid asking for the Board to double their previous pledge and also didn’t want to further spook our shareholders with what they may have seen as a reckless expenditure. That’s why I decided to take on all of the risk myself and free up what the Board approved simply for the contracts we need to negotiate both out of our remaining Shadow Draft holdouts and the other talent we are currently scouting around the world.
ABC Sports: So, that means you are aware of the health of your stocks in the stock market?
CM: Need I remind everyone that I have a few degrees? One of those is in Business Management. I’m no novice when it comes to watching the ebb and flow of our traders. The Stock Market is entering very volatile territory with the possible onset of a recession looming. Every businessman and woman must think and act accordingly. Well, it seems that time is up. You will all hear from me again very soon. Thank you.
*Catherine then leaves as the room experiences some chatter amongst the press*