Mmouse Enterprises Press Conference

Mmouse Enterprises HQ2

Nashville, Tennessee

August 2, 2019

(CM = Catherine Mouse)

*Catherine enters the room and takes the podium*

CM: Good morning everyone, I appreciate your attendance. I will make some quick remarks and take your questions shortly after because I – unlike some cowardly men in my family – am ready and willing to answer them. So, what has been happening at Mmouse Enterprises? Why is this press conference being held at a separate headquarters which is still largely under construction? Does Benny really have the drop on us? All of these questions and plenty more will be answered. Let me first start out by going right for the proverbial jugular. My father is an asshole and a liar, and he refuses to accept that his time has long passed him by. He clings to the glory days of the late-1990s and the early-2000s because he knows that he will never again know fame and fortune like that.

My father lied to me when he assured me that the reins of this company and industry’s future were firmly in my hands now and that he was backing away. For whatever it is worth, he mostly stayed away from 2012 through 2014 during the original run of PWI. He let me get my feet wet. I had fun during that time, but I never had a chance to demonstrate my strength as a woman, a damn talented woman, in the battlefield because my uncle’s company closed shop after only a handful of shows and I was left with no competition. Regardless of the success we had in further building icons like Teo during the PWI’s first era, it still came to be regarded by many sports pundits in that male-dominated scene as the “lost era of wrestling”. They even held the HCW era of 2005 through 2008 in higher regard!

What sickened me the most was – in the days preceding From Dusk Til Dawn – I overheard my father echoing that sentiment in a conversation with one of his lackeys. He then, within minutes after seeing my anger which I expressed to him in a confrontation once I heard this utter crap, had the audacity to ask me to partake in a joint statement with him. To humor him, I lent my name to the statement his handlers penned, and then I angrily told him I was not going to be involved in the festivities of From Dusk Til Dawn, despite the fact that I – not he – had been the one working to represent our company in our partnership with Benny to make that show a success.

Yet, when I decided to show up after what should have been that show’s main event – Athena Starr versus Amazon -, my father became silent. Why? Number one, again, he is a coward! He knew that I meant business and that I was livid about how the show’s finishing touches were made. He knew I had insisted on more women’s matches at the show, and he knew how badly I wanted the women to main event the final edition of that mega card. What did he do about that? He undermined me in the negotiations with Benny and agreed to have Fred and Armageddon main event the broadcast. So, he knew his betrayal was incurring my wrath.

Second, he fears being embarrassed on a global stage more than anything in the world and that an argument with me would lead to just that. That is why he left without uttering a word because he knew I was right. Of course, all of this just covers what we saw almost two months ago. What we have experienced since has been a series of betrayals.

First of the betrayals was the obvious moment before that PPV when my father reinserted himself as Chairman of the Board as he bought back his shares of the company, and we will get back to that momentarily. Second of the betrayals came when he left the stage that night and went to the PWI locker room whereupon he threw a tantrum that came to my attention once I came back there. During this tantrum he went on a tangent about how I supposedly didn’t deserve the center of the stage and that I had botched my chance that he had handed to me. He may not have undermined me in public, but he certainly did so with the locker room…and the EWA talent heard it as well.

After that came his silence, because he never said these things to me in person and when I tried to confront him about it he made sure that he was far away from the arena. That’s when he started ignoring my phone calls and even the Board started to wonder if he was just going to sell his shares again and return to his campaign. That’s why we started to make important decisions without him. He just wasn’t there. Instead, he was too busy sulking about his pride being crushed in front of every wrestling fan alive.

What came next was the worst betrayal yet. This is when his lawyer sent me a cease and desist letter which ordered me to stop acting as the head of the company. He then informed me in a second letter that he was going to purge the corporate office of anyone he saw as loyal to me. Finally, after he did what he could to wreck whatever alliances that he thought I had, he announced that he was creating his own brand within the PWI to force me to prove my worth in competition with Benny without his help…hell, in spite of him, because he wanted another crack at taking Benny down so that he could rub it in my face that I will never be as great as he.

So, that partially brings you up to speed on what happened. Yet, there remains an unanswered question: why couldn’t Mickey fire me or even most of the workers in our corporate office? It’s because he no longer controls a majority of shares in the company. In fact, no one does, and we did that by design after he had stepped down and sold his shares to me. When Mickey bought his shares back he bought those shares at the 2012 price, which only represented 24% of the controlling shares as opposed to the 68% he had seven years ago. It seemed that Mickey forgot how the markets work during his time away, but I also control 24% of the shares, and so does one other anonymous party – who I’ve been informed wants to keep their name a secret for the time being – while the remaining 28% is split evenly between our shareholders and the Board. In other words, Mickey can call himself the “Chairman” all he wants, because it is a title that the Board allows him to have, but he an equal to me whether he likes it or not.

As for the upcoming debut of the PWI, we will indeed be doing as my father suggested. There will be weekly shows and as of right now we are contemplating adding another month long break after a fourth pay per view, but that won’t be added to the schedule until our fourth season, which starts in September 2020. On the question of why we are here in Nashville at the second headquarters, I have decided that this is the headquarters of the company’s future and Mickey can have the old one with its mold and asbestos. We are seeing construction here because we are adding to it since there will be a permanent performance arena attached to this building so the fans of PWI can see the best action we have to offer and pay the headquarters a visit.

Finally, before I get to your questions, I have to proudly say that Benny does not have the drop on the PWI. I’m going to let Mickey hang himself in his bi-weekly broadcast while I thrive on mine. People will remember when they see what we have that this, the Legends brand is the real PWI and that it is the show to watch. I’m not my father, and I refuse to get distracted with all the drama involving my odd uncle. He can squawk all he wants over there trying to make an impression, but when the lights burn bright and the cameras roll come January, we will quickly know why the Elite have nothing on our Premier athletes. Question, please.

NBC Sports: Yes, Madame Vice Chair, care to comment on your father’s released card for the first edition of “Asylum” and when can we expect the card for your first show?

CM: Yes, I have faith that the talent involved will perform at their best. I just have no faith that my father will stay out of their way. He always has to be seen and heard, no matter who it hurts. Like my father did last time, I will share the first card of “Legends” in a press release which will be given to you after this press conference.

ESPN: Catherine, do you feel as though your uncle got the best of you with some of us star-studded acquisitions, particularly in the women’s division?

CM: I believe he calls it the “Knockouts Division”, but I will admit that he successfully nabbed – even recently – some talent that I had personally hoped to get here. Even so, I am confident in our ability to compete. You will see just how amazing our women’s division will become over time. The Knockouts will have their work cut out for them.

Sports Illustrated: How about the 50 woman roster threshold for drafting the women? Whose idea was that?

CM: Who do you think? My father may have featured women’s wrestling in the USWA era, but he never prioritized them as top stars until I came around and admittedly until the competition started to cherish their worth in a visible way. Unfortunately for him, though, the announcement of that threshold was premature because he wanted some kind of public moral victory over me, because forcing our women to work twice as hard as the men would really stick it to me. So, I have managed to encourage the Board to lower the threshold to 40, which is a more easily attained number, as you might imagine. Interestingly, our anonymous third 24% shareholder sent in a late ballot voting in favor of that threshold, so Mickey was overruled just by that anonymous figure and me!

ABC: When do you think you will be able to attain the number of 40 women on the roster?

CM: Sooner than you think, because I have a proud announcement to make of a slew of new acquisitions. Just last night, we secured the contract for six new superstars, with one of them being a male! First of all, we have signed the Scottish Psychopath, Drew McIntyre, who is a ruthless brute from Glasgow. Then, we managed to sign daughter of sports legend Tully Blanchard; Tessa Blanchard! Additionally, we signed a quirky girl from Appalachia, trained by the Duxen family, Daisy Buffer. Two more signings involve two high flying women trained by the great Dragonfly, Thundra and Starfire! Finally, I am beyond proud to announce one of our greatest signings to date, a woman who dominated the women’s division across the independent circuit in the past decade; Alundra Blaze!

CBS Sports: Is there any truth to the rumors which broke this morning that the company is trying to negotiate for an earlier start than January?

CM: Those claims are unsubstantiated, and I really would like to know whose spreading such junk information.

CBS Sports: My sources seem to suggest that these leaks came from the top.

CM: Yeah, the top of a pile of shit. Thank you everyone for your time, please find the press releases which should have been left in an envelope during my remarks. *Leaves*

*PRESS RELEASE FROM THE DESK OF CATHERINE MOUSE*

- Tentative Card for the Premiere of "PWI Legends" on Monday, January 20th, 2020 -

Opening Bout: Zevon Heaven versus Michelle McCool

Jon Moxley versus Dolph Ziggler

Matt Taven versus Rob Van Dam

Molly Holly and Ivory versus Alexa Bliss and Carmella

and in the Triple Threat Match Main Event: Scott Nash versus Jeff Hardy versus Petey Williams!