EWA announces new talent acquisitions

The EWA is proud to announce the signings of the following individuals:

Brandi Rhodes; the wife of Cody Rhodes, who began training three years ago to become a professional wrestler. Due to pre-existing contractual agreements, Mrs. Rhodes will debut when her previous independent commitments expire in September.

Chyna, one of the original divas, has been signed to the Knockouts Division.

Kenny Omega, a Canadian-born Japanese indie sensation, who also remains under contractual obligations until September.

Benny Mouse also released the following statement:

"As the competition pledges to spend an additional $400 million on their next season, I would like to re-iterate that the EWA is looking to spend equal money on continued efforts to increase production value; this will include a new set, as well as other surprises along the way. And while we will never stop signing talent as a practice, we still have several stars awaiting their debut and do not wish to hire for the sake of hiring. I am interested in seeing how much money the PWI is willing to spend just to keep up their losing streak..."