**Benny Mouse approaches the podium, as members of the press filed into the briefing room.**
Benny Mouse: Good afternoon, and thank you for assembling on such short notice. I have a few opening remarks and announcements to make prior to opening the floor to reporters - I ask that you hold your questions until I've reached the end of my statement.
First and foremost, I would like to congratulate Kevin Kelly. Earlier this year, Renee Young took Kelly's spot as the Director of Commentary and Communication. Since that announcement, Kelly has served in a talent scouting role. He has, on my orders, scoured the globe for the best female talent in the world. Thanks to Kelly's due diligence, the EWA Knockout's Division is fast approaching unprecedented heights, in terms of it's talent pool and volume.
Secondly, I want to address something that has been circulating on the so-called dirt sheets over the past few weeks. Rumors are flying that CM Punk has pulled out of his scheduled match on the return episode of Revolution. Punk was slated to wrestle Jesse Hash, with the winner to challenge the EWA Champion on the Jan. 13 episode of Revolution. After meeting with Punk, I believe that I have addressed his concerns, and the match is moving forward with conditions.
Punk cited "unsafe working conditions" as his primary discrepancy. Punk alleged that Jesse's "drug use" put both Jesse Hash and CM Punk in danger. As a way to ease Punk's mind, the EWA will drug test Jesse Hash prior to their match.
At this time, I will answer questions from the press.
CBS Sports: The world has been waiting for you to comment on the news out of PWI, specifically their decision to launch on Dec. 1st. What is your response to this news, and will the EWA move its launch in response?
Benny Mouse: When a rumor persists in this industry, chances are it's because it is backed by some piece of factual information. I've been around long enough to know that. So, when rumors of an "early start" continued to circulate even after denials, I knew that there was a good chance that my family down south would make this move.
That being said, I have no strong reaction to the news. We have 54 days prior to Hell Hath No Fury, and those days are booked solid. I will say that the pace of news will dramatically pick up in this time, but other than that, I have no comment on this move by the PWI.
FOX News: If you will not comment on the decision for an early start by PWI, could you comment on the demotion of Mickey Mouse and the recent boardroom drama?
Benny Mouse: The board made, for once, a respectable decision in stripping Mickey of his chairman powers. However, the board then turned around and did what it likes to do so often, and that's make a mistake. The decision to remove Catherine Mouse as COO is a move that upsets me as a shareholder. However, in calling for Mickey's resignation or removal, I will proceed with this as a "win." I would love it if they'd stop upsetting the stock price, though, speaking strictly as an investor.
ESPN: With the two weekend signings, the Knockout's Division now stands at 34 women. The PWI has secured the contracts of 42 women, but the rosters are split in half. Do you foresee the EWA's Knockout's Division surpassing the total number of women employed by your competitors?
Benny Mouse: Listen, I've said all along that our Knockout's Division would focus on quality, not quantity. It just so happens that we've found a lot of talented women, with the very real possibility of additional signings still to come. I think that it's not only possible but quite likely that our roster will exceed the size of the combined PWI roster. That said, stay tuned because later this week I will make a major announcement pertaining to the division.
With that said, I am out of time.
**Benny leaves as reporters continue to shout questions.**