Mmouse Enterprises HQ1
Memphis, Tennessee
November 19, 2019
1:45AM
Reporting: Lawrence Mason
After hours of silence following the incredible news about Chairman Murrey’s election by the Board, Co-Vice Chairman Mickey finally opined on the matter with an angry, obscenity-laced, tirade via Twitter:
11pm (November 18, 2019): “First the Board helps Catherine and the Mystery Coward to launch a disastrous coup against me, and then they elect this incompetent failure to lead the SAME FUCKING COMPANY THAT PUT HIM OUT OF BUSINESS?!! Epic FAIL!!!”
11:11pm: “You know what’s really stupid? Appointing Hillary Clinton to serve as President while demoting Trump to Vice President. Sound idiotic? Because it is!!”
11:15pm: “My ass hurts from thinking about this stupidity all day. I have been in such brain pain that the pain has literally transferred to my ass! My FUCKING ASS!!”
11:45pm: “Name one thing that Murrey did which made this appointment sensible, and don’t you dare mention the LWF! That organization was a fluke and I proved it when he failed as my promotional administrator for the revived WWF in 2008! We had to save him from himself. Disgrace!!”
12:30am: “I’ve been informed by the police that my screams are disturbing the neighbors. I live in a fucking mansion in the middle of Tennessee. My neighbors are disturbed sibling-fuckers, and I have every right to scream, because my company is being robbed and raped…in that order!!”
Reports are that Mickey may have actually been visited by the police, but only after someone heard a lady screaming in his house. There seems to be no proof that Mickey had a lady in the house with him at the time. Stay tuned for more updates on this story.
In other news, Teo has reportedly been dodging requests by Co-Vice Chair Catherine Mouse to visit her at the office. Rumor has it that he mailed a Xerox of his unclean rear end to the family of the late-Terry Austin with a note which read: “I apologize that my ass looks better unwiped than Terry did on his best day.” It is also said that Teo continues to taunt Co-Vice Chairwoman Mouse with new messages on his voicemail protesting the demand that he apologize. His latest says “If you are calling about that apology, I suggest you kill yourself…so you and Terry can bitch about it together.”
Finally, in lighter news, more updates can be found at the Mmouse Enterprises website with details about the first installments of “Ascendants” and “The Spotlight”. Stay tuned for more updates as we move onward to “Greatness Reborn”!