Mmouse Enterprises News Center
Knoxville, Tennessee
May 15, 2020
Reporting: Lawrence C. Mason
In the wee-hours of the morning, as Mmouse Enterprises was prepared to release a statement about the continued ratings losses to BWM Inc.’s EWA (the recent loss marked the fifth consecutive loss to our rival up north), it was reported that a sudden fight broke out at Mmouse Enterprises Headquarters 1 in Memphis. Co-Vice Chairman Mickey M. Mouse Junior had ordered the President of the Board Howard Knuckles and the Chairman of the Board Jeff Murrey to leave his building at once, citing his fear of COVID-19 and the apparent lack of social distancing being observed by Murrey and Knuckles.
The President and Chairman were visiting Mickey’s office to try and negotiate a joint statement of solidarity to offer a counter to the narrative being sold by the EWA pertaining to the misfortune the PWI has experienced in each week of competition. Co-Vice Chairwoman Catherine Mouse was not present for the meeting and had reportedly signed on to the joint statement. Mickey reportedly wouldn’t even entertain the thought, as he insisted on being left alone for safety purposes.
The authorities were dispatched per Mickey’s request and a sanitation team was immediately ordered to eliminate any microscopic threat to the Founder’s well-being.
There is still no word as to if or when a joint statement will be released about the ratings war and addressing the lopsided EWA victories since the outset of this era, but Chairman Murrey did respond to a request for comment by saying the following:
“I congratulate our competition on their success. We at Mmouse Enterprises are working on some strategies to provide the fans of professional wrestling with a better product which will live up to their expectations. Many of us – myself included – still feel that EWA’s temporary success can largely be attributed to their effective exploitation of their erratic presence in the industry in conjunction with their ability to utilize certain legends and Pay Per View-caliber matches to spike ratings when their presentation would otherwise lag. Let me be clear, we have the ability and the combined experience to use such ratings ploys all the same, but we in PWI have been primarily focused with building the stars of tomorrow – even if it costs us some viewers – while the EWA relies so heavily on nostalgia; keeping the audience trapped in the past.”
Stay tuned for more updates as they come!